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Diane L. Drain | Arizona Bankruptcy Lawyer

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Life Tips & Humor : Part 5

Life Tips & Humor : Part 5Diane Drain2022-08-31T14:10:24-07:00

Why God Created Children (And In The Process Grandchildren)

For those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, or grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students… here are a few thoughts to make you chuckle.

Diane L. Drain

Diane L. Drain Bankruptcy Lawyer

Who is Raising Who?

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was “DON’T!”

“Don’t what?” Adam replied.

“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.” God said.

“Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve…we have forbidden fruit!!!!!”

“No Way!”

“Yes way!”

“Do NOT eat the fruit!” said God.

“Why”

“Because I am your Father and I said so!” God replied, wondering why He hadn’t stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! “Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit?” God asked.

“Uh huh,” Adam replied.

“Then why did you?” said the Father.

“I don’t know,” said Eve.

“She started it!” Adam said

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“DID NOT!”

Having had it with the two of them, God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

Life in Carefree, Arizona (yes, these are real):

Bobcat LoungingThis is a bobcat, for those who have never seen one. It is a wild cat, but it appears to know how to relax.

You will note that the photographer (Diane’s dad) stayed inside the glass door. Good move Dad!

A full grown Bobcat perched on the top of a Saguaro.  One wonders “why”?

Being expert tree climbers, bobcats can easily scale a saguaro, which is fortunate for them. This is likely caused by the big cactus’s spines being lined in rows along its elevated pleats rather than crowding the trunk, as well as the wildcat’s agility in the trees. However, most bobcats presumably don’t climb to the very top of a tall saguaro (average height of 40′, but can reach 75′) on a regular basis.

Although the cause for this specific trip up the cactus ladder is unknown, it is possible that it was necessary to flee from some sort of danger, like a mountain lion, coyote, wolf or human.

This sign reflects the lifestyle of Carefree, Arizona

The Town of Carefree is a rural township with a residential population of 4,045 people (as of 2020). The Town, which is slightly bigger than eight square miles and situated in Maricopa County, is north of Phoenix .  I t surrounds Black Mountain to the south and west. The Sonoran Desert’s natural beauty, pure air, less traffic, quiet, and tranquility are ranked by residents as the city’s top benefits.

Deer Hunter Lounging

Deer Hunting, Photographer Unknown

Hunting can be so tiring. One can only hope that the deer had already finished the hunter’s lunch and was out of sight by the time he woke up.

Things to Think About!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

Advice for the Day

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

Dispensing Aspirin

Lastly, if you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, follow the directions on the bottle: “Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children”.

CONTINUE READING – LIFE TIPS & HUMOR : PART 4
BACK TO – LIFE TIPS & HUMOR : PART 1

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