Learn to trust yourself. If your gut tells you “there is something wrong”, then don’t do it. If your mind tells you “this is too good to be true”, then don’t do it. If your heart tells you “I don’t deserve this”, then talk to a close friend to see if you are underestimating yourself, or overestimating the other person.
Never allow someone to be abusive, whether mental or physical. If any human abuses another living thing, then the abuser is sick, not the living thing he/she is abusing. According to numerous reports from his clients, Forrester repeatedly yelled at his clients, calling them hurtful names and blaming them for things that were not their fault, or that they did not understand. It took several of us two years of repeatedly bringing attention of his bad acts to the court and the State Bar before he was finally disciplined. The good news – they did something. The bad news – all the damage suffered on the clients even after the problem was known, because the system is so slow to respond. I recognize there is a reason for a bureaucracy to respond slowly, so as not to over-react to an occasional event. But, what I observed in dealing with Forrester is that he became embolden by the court’s and State Bar’s failure to respond quickly. As with any bully, the more he gets away with his abuse, the more he comes to believe his actions are acceptable.
The first time I heard from his client about the problems, I reached out to Forrester to see if I could help him (I am part of a great consumer debtor mentoring group). Other good attorneys did the same. The results? Without exception, each of us were rebuked. Forrester was positive we were trying to “poach” his clients, rather than trying to help him be a better attorney. When someone has that attitude, then there is nothing you can do, except to make sure the officials know about this bad apple. Next, take the necessary actions to remove this rotting apple from the apple barrel, so as not a infect the other apples.
Never tolerate bullies. Stand up to them, make noise, report them to the authorities and don’t let up. You owe it to your fellow humans. Here is a great video on the topic of dealing with uncomfortable situations. The speaker, Cindy Villanueva, is great and has some detailed tips “Get Comfortable with Punches“.